Tag Archives: testosterone

LAUGH LAB – TV TRICK! Or TV TREAT!

IF  you  really  have  a  DOWN  DAY  and feel unmotivated……just  turn  on  the  TV  and  watch  some  commercials.

Out  of  shape  people  appear……JUST  TAKE  SOME  TESTOSTERONE……blares  across  the  screen  and  like  them  you’re  JUMPING  out  of  windows  because  now  you’re  UP  longer  than  down.

You  took  the  WRONG  PILL……(Cialis  or  Viagra)  and  how  did  you  end  up  in  that  strange  bedroom?  Suddenly  you  can  RUN  a  nonstop  WORLD  RECORD  just  to  find  your  way  back  home.  Bet  you  forgot  to  take  your  (tranquilizer)   or   (sleeping  pill)  instead.

WHAT  TO  DO……well  just  CHANGE  the  channel  and  hey  there’s  a couple  in  their  70’s  covered  with  grease  paint  to  look  like  their  in  their  30’s……but  who  cares  that’s  nothing!  Your  only  thought  is  DIVE  OUT  that  window  BUT  pointing  right  at  you  is  a  GUN  with  a  TERRORIST  on  the  other  end  of  it!

WHAT  TO  DO……GRAB  your  (heart medicine)  and offer  him  some.  QUICK……light  up  a  (marijuana  cigarette)  and  blow  a  SMOKE  SCREEN  so  you  can  crawl  over  your  (back  brace)  and  change  the  channel  to  football!

DON’T  WORRY……the  idiot  on  TV  can’t  see  you  as  you  wake  up  from  any  NIGHTMARES  and  find  yourself  on  the  MOON  instead  cause  you  fell short  trying  to  escape  to  MARS.

Ohhh……one  thing  I  forgot  to  tell you……that  knocking  on  your  door  right  now  is  the  FBI  who  monitored  your  phone  calls  and  emails.  BIG  BROTHER  also  confiscated  all your  confessions  on  social  networks……meaning  all of  this  constitutes  YOU’RE  UNDER  ARREST……and……you  never  left  the  HOUSE!!!

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LAUGH LAB – FOREST FIRES? You Ain’t Seen Nothin Yet !!!

UPPERS  n  DOWNERS !!!

Gads,  these  ads  got  me  all  confused.  First  I’m  given ‘ NIAGRA’  and  feel  like  I  can  swim  up  stream.  Then  I  tried  ‘SEE ALICE’  and  suddenly  playing  golf  w/o  clubs  looked  awfully  good  to  me.

Oh  but  you  haven’t  seen  anything  yet.  I  take  this  ‘STICK’  and  rub  it  under  my  arm  pits  and  low  and  behold  I’m  AIR  BORNE!  I  guess  they  call  it  ‘TESTOSTERMOST’  but  wait  I  get  this  shot  in  the  arm  and  ‘Mars’  doesn’t  seem  that  far  away  because  I’ve  been  STEROIDIZED!

But  that’s  nothing  because  after  all that,  I  get  EGM,  ‘ELEPHANT  GROWTH  MORONS’   or  maybe  it’s  HGH,  ‘HUMAN  GROWTH  HORRORMONES.’

Well  now  I’m  embarrassed  because  everything  on  me  seems  bigger,  stronger,  and  women  love  me  because  I  can  fly  like  ‘Superman’  and  climb  like  ‘Spiderman.’  

I  said  ‘Uppers  n  Downers’  right,  where’s  the  Downers?  No  problem,  I  swim  the  ‘English Channel,’    run  up  ‘Mt. Everest,  fly  to  the  ‘Moon’  and  the  women  all know  I’m  gonna  come  back  for  more.  These  ‘Elephant  Growth  Morons’  or  ‘Human  Growth  Horrormones’  always  put  me  up  today  and  down  tomorrow.

But  I’m  happy  cause  I  tripped  out  on  ‘EGOTIZERS’  and  now  it’s  down  town  cause  I’m  ‘flaked  out,  left  out,   put  out’  and   LIGHTS  OUT !!!

Ha  Ha  Ha,   there  ain’t  NO  fire  left  to  put  OUT !

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LAUGH LAB – Happy! Or Hippy ?

*U  P  P  E  R  S      &      D  O  W  N  E  R  S *

Gads……these ads got me all confused.  First I’m given  ‘Niagra’  and feel like I can swim up stream.  Then I tried  ‘SeeAlice’  and suddenly playing golf w/o clubs looked awfully good to me.

Oh but you haven’t seen anything yet.  I take this ‘stick’  and rub it under my arm pits and low and behold I’m  AIR BORNE!  I guess they call it  ‘Testostermost’  but wait I get this shot in the arm and ‘Mars’ doesn’t seem that far away because I’ve been  STEROIDIZED!

But that’s nothing because after all that,  I get EGM  ‘Elephant Growth Morons’  or maybe it’s  HGH  ‘Human Growth Horrormones.’

Well now I’m embarrassed because everything on me seems bigger,  stronger,  and women love me because I can fly like Superman and climb like Spiderman.

I said  ‘uppers & downers’  right…where’s the downers?  No problem……I swim the English Channel,  run up Mt Everest,  fly to the moon and the women all know I’m gonna come back for more.  These  ‘Elephant Growth Morons’  or  ‘Human Growth Horrormones’  always put me up today and down tomorrow.

But I’m happy cause I tripped out on  ‘Egotizers’  and now it’s down town cause I’m ‘flaked out,’  ‘left out’,  ‘put out’ and  LIGHTS  OUT!!!

Ha  Ha  Ha……my title is:  GOTCHA

Check me out on internet bookstores,  authors (Neihardt & Smith)  www.xlibris.com

www.motionOsis.com

 

 

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